“This just adds to the junk in the compound! You are going to use it for a day and then forget about it!”

The aforementioned words are those of my worldly-wise father, who rationalizes everything when we are about to buy something new.

I herald from a middle class Indian family with humble beginnings and an even humbler present. Through these years, I have noticed that it has been customary for an Indian family to consider things as ‘ours’ and not personal. It has always been the computer we have, the Bike we have, the tree we have grown over the years, the people we have lost, the phone we have but is being used my me, the rage we have and the gratitude too! I have learnt things have a collective ownership in this house, and I cannot thank god enough for the virtue!

I had a bicycle when I used to be in school and it has been almost 6 years since my feet have felt a pedal underneath. The COVID-19 lock-down has brought nothing but misery to everyone, with the exception of hobbies. I have been overwhelmed by the amount of thoughts that cross my mind when it comes to going back to some old good hobbies. The word Quarantine means much more after realizing that I have added up 40 pounds over the last 40 days! Nevertheless the combination of the effervescence of forgotten hobbies and the misery of gaining a lot brought me to the conclusion that I should indeed get a bicycle. I presume Gym sessions will now be as rare as some good quality humor in my drafts!

So for the realization of this dream, I had a legislative instrument written to have the bill passed in the senate. The instrument was received with overwhelming response by madam Prime Minister, my dearly mother and she rejoiced as her son was finally taking steps to give the sofa some air. Having her in confidence, I moved the bill to the President, my beloved Father and the quoted words in the beginning of this draft, were a mere start to the highly juxtaposed discussion. The range of topics referring to which ‘Bapu’ withheld his approval are jotted ahead.

“This just adds to the junk in the compound! You are going to use it for a day and then forget about it!”

“You broke more cycle pedals than bones when you were young! Tires, tubes and weekly maintenance; Nawaab-Saab will not have the time to do all that”

“And even if we consider bringing more wheels into the compound, who is gonna pay for it? My tongue has gone numb over the years but you have not learnt the virtue of saving money!”

“Don’t get it if you’re getting it just because everyone else is!”

“If you wanna lose weight, you need to have a plan for it. Not a cycle!”

Yes, that escalated quickly as I gobbled down my dinner with a smile and was back to my room wondering if would be able to buy things on my own, even after earning an amount for myself. Just at that thought, I heard him laugh while coming upstairs and he asked

“At what time does the store open tomorrow?”

I took a step back and understood, for the millionth time, that Our Father, was giving an insight into the juxtaposition, confirming I didn’t leave a thought while thinking it through. Also, re-affirming the fact by the act on dinner, that no matter how small the thing is, it should always be discussed in the family; because it was going to be our cycle, and not mine.

Just like this incident, I have admired our father to be the guy who judges everything to the extremity, negates every possible positive thought, questions the downright simple facts; just to make sure Nawaab-Saab is well informed before making a decision. He already knows at some point that as I had the audacity to ask for the bicycle, I had it affirmed in my mind that I wanted one, he just made sure I was backed up.

“Drives like a breeze!”

He said, when he rode it the first time with 20 odd years of reminiscence glittering in his eyes! I guess he was correct when he said

“You are going to use it for a day and then forget about it!”

I understood what he was talking about. He was going to use it whenever I didn’t. Nothing less than a classic suspense reveal in Christopher Nolan’s movies, I understood what he meant. He loved cycling in his early days and using my future carelessness would serve as an unquestioned authorization to relive his dream!

Maybe he was not the only one smart here! I knew this already and I wished I could make him happy without actually revealing my intentions! Maybe I succeeded, at least the pedals on my cycle say so! After all, it has always been about us, and never about me.

Happiness, is often dissolved in my opinion; as dissolved as the motion of pedaling, barely noticeable when riding a bicycle. Happiness requires pedaling through the concerns of the home, demands care and thoughts that encapsulate the unsaid and the unheard of, just to prove its worth. Happiness, in families like mine, has never been an over the top celebration of some achievement, but rather in moments like these. Moments, in which I felt I won and my dad thought he proved his point, but indeed it was us who won, it was us, happy!